Zzzzz

The throttle appears to be jammed at 100% and wont go any further. I haven’t slept more than three hours a night in about four days,,,,,,,,,,,,,It was fun……..two days ago. Now I’d just like to be able to sleep, sit still, read the rest of East of Eden and stop listening to various pop punk bands.

Something irritated me the other day and I’m not sure if I’m still irritated or not. So my aunt was doing the auntly thing of chewing me out for having a lack of direction in life. This then turned to psycho-analysis where it was concluded that I’m afraid to be manic and if I could just stop being afraid of being manic then I would be a brilliant success in life, or something. So then I pointed out that actually I’m thinking of starting a brewery which she thought was a brilliant idea and then she asked what was stopping me. At this point I looked at mum and I thought “Why is it that every idea I have mum shoots down while everyone else supports?” 

I wish S were here so I could climb into her bed and sleep. Bacon sandwich and a mug of tea wouldn’t go amiss either.

 

Why am I starting to get a thing for tanned women with tattoos and big fake boobs? Where’s that come from. Mind you the majority opinion of my female friends is that if a woman doesn’t intimidate me I find her boring, maybe it’s something to do with that.

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One thought on “Zzzzz

  1. Hi! I don’t know you, so take my comments with a grain of salt but I am in (almost) exactly the same position you are. What people don’t seem to realize is that mania and psychosis are fun for a couple of weeks and then they just get SCARY.

    I’m not always productive when I’m manic, so I’ve been just wandering around for days doing nothing, wishing so badly that I could just do SOMETHING to get rid of the energy.

    Kind of similar to your brewery story, I had a complete meltdown last year and decided that it was then or never that I’d apply to graduate schools, so at least I have that looming ahead of me. The thing is that I’m Bipolar 1 Disorder and my graduate school is in Boston — so yeah, that’s eerie.

    Anyway, I’m still getting used to this whole WordPress thing but if I figure out how to follow you, I certainly will. I hope you feel better and that your family learns to become more understanding.

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