Insomnia

What I’d give for ten hours sleep. I find that after two nights of really bad sleep, not that I get much decent sleep, that I basically enter a depressive episode. I don’t know how many times I’ve caught myself saying, “I wish I was dead” or “Why can’t I be dead?” or even more curiously “One day I’ll be dead and then I’ll be happy” in the past 48 hours. It makes me realise that there’s a sub-surface layer of real self hatred that somehow I manage to suppress most of the time.

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