I’ll find the link in the morning when I’m not laying in bed trying to sleep but I just read this article in the times about this woman who has just published a book about her twenties. Long stoy short: she drank a lot, did a lot of drugs and slept around. For some reason this is sensational enough to write a book about and I don’t understand why. For me it’s a description of about a third to a half of middle class women. It’s bourgeois bullshit; the attempt to make the mind numbingly mundane have some kind of meaning.
I think part of this phenomenon of bourgeois women being treated as unusual is that society still thinks that the average man has as many sexual partners as the average woman. This makes rather mundane lives seem kind of edgy because there’s a sense that these women are transgressing against the sexual double standard when in fact they’re the one’s who create it. The fact that it’s the top twenty percent of men screwing eighty percent of women hasn’t dawned on society. The fact that men have to pay for sex and women get paid for sex hasn’t occurred to society. Accepting that men and women want sex equally either one of two things must be true: There are loads of women who have virtually no sex thus creating the shortage of access that forces men to pay for it OR women are getting all the sex they want, but it’s with a minority of guys.
Placed in this context there’s nothing all that interesting about a woman that gets drunk a lot, as most women do, or who sleeps around a lot, as a significant proportion must be, and so we’re left with drugs, and I submit that “I’m female, I do drugs” isn’t newsworthy. The only thing that makes any of this “interesting” is that most people are too dim to take a few well established facts about society, apply logic, and see where it goes.
I really look forward to the day when we collectively realise that women get called sluts for the same reason that we have to prefix ” escort” with “male” to indicate gender but we never have to say “female escort”: because it’s almost a tautology.
Sex is so freely available to women that almost no woman needs to pay for it; a straight man cannot sell sex unless he is godlike. Ergo there are so few male escorts that “escort” is essentially a female gendered term.
Male sluts are so rare that “slut” us also an essentially gendered term, and not because of any societal prejudice but because society has observed that the overwhelming majority of sluts are female to the point that “female slut” is essentially a tautology.
So on this mythical day I think society will wake up, look at the bourgeois women of the world and nonchalantly shrug, praise be. I think maybe this is an argument for women and men to be saying “Women are getting far more sex than men”, because it’s obvious to anyone with critical thinking skills.
This idea that men are sleeping with women all the time and escaping censure and society’s opprobrium doesn’t add up. Not when guys are paying hundreds and thousands of pounds to pick up artists to teach them how to pull, not when men are supporting a whole sex industry. Logic people, logic.
Anyway, I’m going to get some rice crispies and maybe some sleep if I’m lucky.