S is never around when I need her. Dad hands me this iphone, which is in German. Immediately I look at the clock and I’m thinking “She’ll be in the gym”. She’s not online and she doesn’t use facefuck and I’m not making an international call and anyway…..she’ll be in the gym. So I muddled through anyway and set it up, in German, and then figured out how to switch languages and I’m quietly proud of myself.
That said, I didn’t risk getting told off for my shoddy pronunciation. “Where did you get a Dusseldorf accent?” “A joke shop in Berlin”.