Fuck. My. Life.
At the moment I don’t know what’s going on. One minute I want to be alone, I want to hunker down in my bed and feel safe, next thing I know I feel like god almighty and I want to be out and then I get out and I feel like shit and want to be alone again. Plus the doing of stupid impulsive shit is burning through money at a stupid rate. Plus on two occasions this week I’ve ended up in bed with someone when I didn’t really want to. I feel like a fucking idiot. Oh and I nearly got mugged last night by a redhead.
I want to feel safe and warm and awake. I want to feel normal. I’d quite like to loose my constant awareness of death too.
It sounds odd but I find it weird thinking of myself as having bipolar disorder.