I always like it when I hear men talking about how they shouldn’t define themselves by female desire. I see this kind of behavior in men so much: the way that they will practically dribble over an attractive woman, do anything to please her, suck to her in the most sycophantic of ways. Not even an attractive woman a lot of the time; a woman has to be pretty damn ugly before men will stop abasing themselves before a woman in hopes of getting laid. Some fat sixty year old woman posts naked pictures of herself and the comments section is loaded with praise. Men are, on the whole, pretty pathetic and women know it and consciously exploit it.
Women are manipulative in both a sexual and emotional sense, to greater or lesser extent depending on the woman but still to greater extent than men. Men earn attention, affection and sex by doing things that please women and if you don’t please women then you’re a “loser” or not a “real” man. This is just the reality that men face and unless men learn to not value female perceptions of them then they will always be under female control. A man has to learn to not just ignore the shaming tactics that women habitually use but actually to be able to cut that woman out of their life and only surround themselves with women who give constructive criticism rather than using criticism to get something that they want.
By the same token a man has to learn to take compliments with a pinch of salt and to be sure that they’re not just being buttered up as another form of manipulation when she figures that you can’t be shamed into conforming with her wishes. If she hates you, so what? If she likes you, so what? Especially if it’s the case that she hates or likes you to the extent that you do what she wants. There in lies the irony that she’ll like you more if you’re indifferent to her. If you hate her, she’ll hate you, if you like her, she’ll hate you, if you’re indifferent she’ll fall for you.