So I was in high level talks with G who henceforth shall be known as “Gman” so me and Gman were having high level talks by which I mean that we were having lunch in the pub with the baby which was being fed by me. I know. There are photos and everything, it’s, it’s……..it’s more ammunition in Mrs Gman’s attempts to get me hooked up with one of her friends by which I mean domesticated, castrated and married. All of her friends who are single are single for a reason; they’re the kind of women who have picked the wall paper and named the children before you’ve even managed to say hello to them. Every time Gman went anywhere this puzzled expression would appear on baby Gman’s face and it would point at just about anything male and say, “Dadda?”. It even knows my name which is most disconcerting.

Anywho we were talking, me and Gman, not me and the baby, about Dakota and her sudden willingness to talk. Usually if someone sends her a message it gets ignored. Even messages like, “Which bar are we meeting in? I’ve just got off the train.” Then if you don’t message her for a couple of weeks she moans at you for ignoring her. Yes, she is a woman. Now though she frequently replies, talks on FB and she’s opening up a lot, which is good. With all this going on I decided that Gman’s advice and appraisal of the situation might be of utility

The general consensus seems to be to keep on with slowly slowly catchy monkey strategy. I don’t mind admitting that sometimes I gloat when I think of all the guys that want her that she ignores, as in ignores ignores. The number of times I’ve heard “Has so and so just split up with his girlfriend, he’s started trying to talk to me on facebook, but I don’t reply” and I nod and report that this is in fact the case and that she doesn’t reply to me either, at which point she looks away and smiles. Occasionally she looks genuinely sorry and strokes my face. Go figure.


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