So things got kicked off by mum pranking me by telling me that his mum had told her that J was getting married to some woman called Fiona. For several seconds I stood there in utter confusion and puzzlement wondering if I had actually woken up or if I was still dreaming. Then she burst out laughing and said that she was joking. Somehow we got onto Tuesday night drinking via her saying that his mum is hoping that he’ll get married and I said that that’s looking unlikely unless he marries India which provoked enquiry into if India is interested in either of us and considering that she just got dumped I think not.

Then mum was like “I think maybe you need to try out dating sites” at which point I burst out laughing and had to explain that the absolute last thing I ever want to be is some woman’s bitch in a relationship. I didn’t put it like that but that’s essentially what it amounts to. So I don’t think mum is all that happy.


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