Quite grouchy today and still a little withdrawn and unfocused and I’m bloody exhausted. S’s birthday is tomorrow and because of shit happening she won’t be coming back until next week so happy I am not. I’m back to wanting my log cabin again. I’m watching this thing on BBC4 about Sappho who I quite like. I bought Dakota a copy of Sappho but then accidently forgot to give it to her because I quite liked it myself and it now resides on my bookshelf.
If I ever have a daughter I’d probably call her Sappho.
I’m going to have a shower, get some toast and hot chocolate, a glass of water, put some Miles Davis on and do some reading in bed with a hot water bottle. Wing Commander: False Flag arrived today which’ll make a nice break from reading Fukuyama and Command and Control. My reading is so random, Penguin have brought out these mini classics books for eighty whole pennies which means that I can’t go into a bookshop without thinking, “Well it’s only 80p” and I’m racking up a collection of them. I have A Cup of Sake Beneath the Cherry Trees by Kenko, How to Use Your Enemies by Balthasar Gracián and The Fall of Icarus by Ovid. No doubt this collection shall rapidly grow.
I also went on a spending spree in Computer Exchange and spent a whole £5 on DVDs including Starship Troopers which I have mixed views on. If they’d made it like the book and not as a satire on the book I’d like it a lot more, but it was £1.50 so whatever. Also this spawned a discussion with the person at the counter about Heinlein, Asimov and a whole bunch of other sci-fi writers which was pretty awesome. I need to buy Dune. I keep saying it but I never get around to it.
Dakota is in Venice for her birthday. I hate May, every fucker I know has a birthday in May. Plato’s is soon too which may put me in the same room as B, which I have mixed feelings about. Plus I’m not feeling all that social at the moment. You know what, I feel like it’s winter. I just want to hide myself away somewhere soft and warm and read. I feel slightly anxious, tense and a bit melancholy. Also I’m doing that zoning out thing where I just sit and stare into space. It’s not full on zoning out but there is a tendency to just sit.
Anywho, toast and hot chocolate doesn’t make itself and the NHS have not seen fit to provide me with a minion. Bastards.