I feel like shit and periodically kinda weepy. I dug out my old blue oxford shirt which is really worn but ultra comfortable. I feel like hunkering down in a hole and fuck knows what. I just feel like my whole life is going to shit and I’m a shitbag and I’m unattractive and yada yada; all of which is objectively bollocks, it’s just how I feel at the moment. I find myself constantly catching myself and thinking through what I’m thinking, assessing it’s objective reality.Then I feel okay and that lasts for a while and then my mood drops again. It’s a battle.
Also periodically I’m massively angry. Not about anything or at anything, I’m just angry. Then I’m outrageously horny, I’m just cycling through moods, except euphoria, and joy and all the nice tree hugging one-with-the-universe ones really rapidly.
I’m here listening to grunge and EBM and terrorcore and basically quietly going back to being a teenager. You have no idea how much it helps.
On the upside my mind is fucking racing and it’s amazing.