Well it appears that the immediate crisis is over; I’m not plunging into depression, I just had a bit of a wobble. I think much of this avoidance of falling off a cliff is due to my awesome management.

In other news I’m outrageously horny. I could fall back on my usual FB but really I want someone new and therein lies the problem. I’m fed up of talking to airheads on tinder and various other places. Perhaps something will turn up?

In yet more news The Martian arrived today. If you haven’t seen it yet then you are a pleb. There is nothing worse than being a pleb, depleb yourself immediately.

Actually I kind of feel parallels between The Martian and my life. A lot of the time I feel quite isolated and like my life is falling apart or not going anywhere but over the past eighteen months I feel like I’ve been able to look forwards for probably the first time in my life. I’ve got over the shock of the initial disaster and now I’m just working through the problem one step at a time. I’m not out of the woods but I’m in control to a certain extent, I can see a path, I can see solutions, I feel positive that I can solve all problems that crop up.

I’ve started to think that there are no big problems, just thousands of small steps. I find that negative thoughts tend to evaporate; I don’t allow myself to get caught up in them. If I think that I can’t do something then I tell myself to shut up, then I tell myself that I can do it because other people can do it. After that I feel positive. I think that maybe it’s hard(er) to get depressed when you have goals and you can see a path to them.

I think maybe I’m the kind of person that only really functions well when everything is going to shit.


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