Updatus maximus.

I feel like shit. I alternate between this kind of sort of heavy feeling and feeling outright sadness and self hatred. I woke up this morning and nearly started crying. I felt so useless and like I’m a shit person and I’m unloveable and my life is pointless. Then I fell asleep and woke up, lay there rationalising my life and realising that it wasn’t bad at all, fell asleep again, woke up again feeling………..better.

I was thinking of going out tonight but I’m just not in the mood for it. I’m not in the mood for anything really.

Actually that’s just cheered me up: My mate’s going on a date and we’re having this convo where it’s like, paraphrasing, “I want to pull out of it because he’s a child”. Seriously, nothing cheers me up more than hearing my female friends talk about men. My biggest dumbass mistake is that I fall for people I can’t have and then find every other woman boring. I’ve never done anything on the list of the amazingly retarded things that guys seem to do habitually.

 

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