I always feel shut out. It’s how I’ve felt my whole life.
Sure you can build this life on the outside, and it can be pretty good, even better in a lot of ways, but you’re still shut out.
I think this explains my whole sexuality which I’ve come to think of as “hyperconsentual” because when you spend your entire life being told no, being pushed away, being on your own and having to build a life outside of things being welcomed in, being desired is really powerful.
When you really can’t imagine anyone caring about you finding that someone does is mind blowing.
I feel like shit