So I’m here minding my own and C calls me and asks if I want a nightcap, which is a ridiculous question because I almost never turn down a drinking session. She comes around, I iron a shirt, and we head out. The place down the road is closing since it’s already eleven so we head to Jboy and me’s usual drinking spot, which is dead as a dodo and is open until twelve. I say dead as a dodo, my competition, the guy who wants BM and gives me evils is there with his crew of neanderthals. It turns out that BM is there too looking tired and overworked, she’s been putting in a load of shifts recently.

I grab the first round: Devils backbone, Americans, apparently, can actually made semi decent beer and an amaretto for C. We sit in my usual alpha maling spot and I alpha male to begin our usual character assassination of academia. From my usual spot about two thirds of the bar is visible so it’s a good place for people watching.

Suddenly I see BM coming down the stairs at her usual rapid pace: she runs up them and runs down them. Occasionally I wonder if she knows that she has huge boobs which bounce up and down very noticeably when she does this. Down she comes and there’s a table between us and the stairs with empty glasses on and she grabs them and gives me a big smile, I ask her how she is but she doesn’t reply. This is unusual in that normally to get the eye contact and the smile, the acknowledgement of my presence, takes about half the night and normally she’s been drinking. This is eyebrow raising and I mention it to C.

C is like “Are you not sure that you’re reading into things” I point out that the fact that she has done it is not unusual, but the timing is. “ahhh, okay”. I then point out the dilemma of being male in that small things mean large things to women, apparently, but us men often don’t pick up on them……..and then get called idiots for not realising that a certain gesture, a turn of phrase, some other seemingly innocuous thing actually means “fuck me” or something which then causes you to hyper-analyze every small thing for meaning.

So BM mooches around the bar: it’s that time of night where the staff just want to go home but there’s time left on the clock and not much to do so they’re always trying to find things to occupy themselves. One’s neanderthal competition is at their usual table by the bar chatting inanely and loudly, C is watching them and suddenly she says, “Did you see that?”. Naturally this would be the moment that I’m looking at my phone, “See what? No.” C explains that BM has just walked past these guys and she’s made this gesture, kind of putting her hand on her head and hunching her shoulders. “She’s really uncomfortable around them”.

You know, I might be going out on a limb here and over analysing, but I wonder if BM feels a lot safer when I turn up. I explained to C how neanderthal and his pals will literally follow her around the bar as she’s cleaning up trying to chat her up. As in he’ll follow her and his mates follow him, it’s really weird to watch and I’m guessing that this doesn’t make her entirely comfortable. I think that’s why she came over and cleared my table that once, after ignoring me for months, when they were following her around. I’m not even reading in that she feels attracted to me, just that she wouldn’t be surprised if they went too far that I would step in. She sees me as a counter to neanderthal.

S is like, actually C has said this too: “You have this calm about you that makes women feel really secure”.





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