I actually think I might be winning this one. So BM is about and I’m with C. I go to the bar and I hear this voice behind me snort in laughter, “You’re not getting served!” “Even if just for a latte?” “Especially not for a latte, get out” “Oh I see, so it’s not like I can just walk in here and order whatever I want?” *ironic eyebrow raise* “No, what gave you that idea?” and then since I’m now facing her and not the barmaid she gets the barmaid to serve me.

She wanders off to do whatever it is she does and the barman is all, in a joking way, “Stop flirting, you’ve been out there for thirty minutes doing nothing but flirting” and she says, jokingly, “Don’t tell me what to do, I flirt with whoever I like”.

Now, one of the things of being thirty-four is that you made the mistake at twenty-three of jokingly telling the woman you liked not to flirt and she, jokingly, told you to fuck off and you thought that she was joking rather than softly telling you to stop being possessive. Especially when said woman knows that she’s the boss, she’s queen of her castle and either you show that you’re big enough to deal with that or she ditches you.

I find this game so much fun. Like she, in the subtext, says to me, “I rule here, I’m the dominant one, you’re on my turf and you do things by my rules, how does that make you feel?” and I’m like,  “You’re implying that this would make me, alpha male of this place, uncomfortable. I can play by your rules, my rules, anyone’s rules and I don’t care, I’m big enough to handle it” and she says, “Alright, I’ll get one of the people under me to get you a drink” which in the sub-sub-text, which is hypothetical in my theoretical framework, is sort of saying, “You pass the test, I will now be feminine and nurture you”.

Whereas the barman had a convo with her that, in the subtext, went, “I’m really uncomfortable with you flirting with that guy” “Fuck off beta male”.

Apparently she also smiled at C, just in a friendly way, which means that she’s obviously clocked on that C and I are not together, which means that I’ve got that preselection by other women box checked, women are obviously comfortable and happy around me, I therefore am obviously not a creepy guy etc.


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