Not being funny but I might not drink the next time I’m hypomanic because it actually kills my buzz. It brings me down to normal then as I sober up the buzz starts to come back.

I miss dancing with S. Our bodies so close together moving to the rhythm of the music. I look up, our eyes meet, she smiles, runs her fingers through her hair, tosses it, I smile as she runs her hands down her swaying body. I can see guys around us, all of them trying to cut in. She looks up and around at them, then at me, down at the floor, that smile. Her eyes come up, meet mine, I look down and give that long blink that we both understand and now we’re snuggled up.moving together.

The “long blink” is that thing people do when they’re really tired, that thing where you rest your eyes for a second or two but between us it basically means, “want a cuddle”. Thinking about it makes me sleepy actually since usually that’s basically what it’s for: eliciting snuggles and sleepy time.

I’ve been thinking about BM a lot recently. Frequent readers will be surprised about this but, as with so much in my blog, I often blog about things I don’t actually think about that much. I use this to crystallize my thoughts on something and then it gets filed away. Actually a lot of my day to day life, in fact the bulk of it, I never talk about on here so things that you would think are important because I blog a lot about them aren’t that important and often vice versa.

So I find myself thinking about her. I don’t think about her in the same way that I do about Dakota, or S: I just enjoy being around her and I suppose I look forward to being around her when I’m not. I need a fix every now and then, a little sultry look off of her. It’s meant to be a look of mock disapproval but it just comes off as this deeply smoldering, sensual, sultry look. It seductively whispers, “kiss me”.


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