Fun, fun, fun.

Women are predictable. I semi-expect this to happen with Coffee at some point, the person, not the drink. So we met a while back and stuff almost happened and we sort of didn’t in contact because neither of us were all that sure that her boyfriend would be happy about it.

I’m minding my own, in my own bed, and I get a message on facefuck and a conversation develops which ends in “all my housemates have gone home for xmas, would you like to come over?”.  I roll onto my back and contemplate this, mostly contemplating the “what about your boyfriend?” which is a question that should be contemplated but never asked in the same way that if you want sex you should probably never talk about it directly. I figure that her bf is her problem, “Yeah, cool, I’ll be about an hour”.

Shit, shave, shower, shampoo, bowl of soup, mug of tea, train, black cab, knock on door, total elapsed time: one hour fourteen minutes. She comes to the door in blue jeans, a white cable knit jumper and ridiculous bright pink socks that you could have walked across antarctica in. We exchange pleasantries, “Would you like tea?” No, actually if we could skip the tea and…. “Yes, please, just milk”. She’s formal, maybe even a bit standoffish, doesn’t seem happy or unhappy to see me. Nervous methinks.

I sit on the sofa and we chat pure nonsense about the weather, the night we met, other total irrelevances as she puts the kettle on. Tea is so important in British culture that apparently even casual sex cannot happen until it is made. So I’m sitting on the sofa, hands behind my head and I find myself with that scowl I make when I’m assessing the situation and her arse. Why am I actually here? Is this about sex or not? Maybe she just felt like having a chat. We’re still making small talk and I get up and I stand behind her as she pooters about and I start stroking her elbows. It’s not an erogenous zone so it’s reasonably safe to touch. She ignores it, which is always problematic.

Once, after leaving a female friends house after tea, three hours of chatting and a little elbow touching that got no response I got an angry text off her about wanting sex. “But you didn’t respond to my touching” I protested. “I wasn’t stopping you though, was I?” So I’m watching her body language, listening to the tone of her voice and I move my hands to her waist and then I hug her from behind for a moment she still doesn’t respond. Then she turns and we kiss and it’s a long lingering kiss before she leans into me a little, pressing her behind against my crotch. All tea making comes to a halt: anarchy in the UK.

I brush her chestnut hair away and start kissing her neck and the moment my lips touch she starts breathing really heavily and we kiss a few times. Eventually she does this thing that many women do: the panting escalates until she holds her breath and then she exhales and totally relaxes.  Her hand slides to my crotch and then she pushes me away, looks at me with a neutral expression and proceeds to make tea. I lean on the side with a raging hardon and watch her put the milk in, admiring her dedication to making tea in these most trying of circumstances.

Things then move to the sofa where precisely zero tea is actually consumed, no conversation is had because we’re too busy kissing. Me being me I started to feel her breasts and this prompted a flurry of activity to get the jumper off. Fortunately there was only a bra on underneath and that ended up on the floor moments later and I’m left with her rather small but amazingly pert breasts with the most beautiful chocolate nipples. I push her on her back and start kissing her neck and she’s panting like mad and the panting only gets more intense as I start sucking her nipples.

Suddenly she starts semi-frantically pushing me off and I wonder if something is wrong but then I realise that she’s pushing me onto my back and the next thing I know my belt is by her bra, she’s ripping my trousers down and sucking me off. Two things: why do women always feel the need to take the belt off, why can’t they just undo it? Second, oh my god did she know what she was doing and she was intense and passionate about it.

At that point a shit ton of testosterone kicked in and I pushed her off and asked her where her room was. Then there was that curious time in having sex where one has to take one’s shoes and socks off, that odd break which is always slightly awkward. Somehow by time I did this she was only down to her panties and I pretty much literally threw her on the bed, which got a delighted little scream and a giggle. I flipped her onto her back, ripped her panties off and chucked them across the room. Wet would be one adjective to describe her.Soaking would be another.

Either way I buried my face between her legs and started licking her with wild abandon, circling her clit one way, then the other, then flicking then plunging inside her. It seems to be that if you’re always changing the stimulation they never get used to it. Whatever the case it wasn’t long before her thighs were clamped around my head and I was nearly being suffocated and pretty soon she was left laying there on the bed pretty unresponsive, flushed and panting. Panting seems to be her thing. Then I told her that I was going to fuck her and she pointed towards the bedside cabinet and sure enough there were condoms in there.

I helped her onto all fours, grabbed her hips and started slowly fucking her, like really slowly and what a hot little pussy she has. Gradually I picked up the pace, asking her if she was comfortable, if this is what she wanted and eventually she just went quiet. By this time I’m playing with her clit, her nipples, fucking her, kissing her neck, doing everything I can to get her off and she’s panting like mad, her head is down, she’s grinding into me and she’s totally unresponsive. Then she goes mental, she starts grinding against me like mad, she made the only sound of the entire encounter which was something approaching a growl, so I grabbed her shoulders and basically just started ramming my cock into her at which point her head came back up and I could feel her whole body tensing until she held her breath for a few seconds and then basically face planted on the bed, rolled over and lay there – panting. I asked if she was okay, she just panted, didn’t even look at me.

Then suddenly it’s like woke up, she rolls over onto her side, pulls the condom off and starts sucking me again. Eventually I was pretty close so I politely informed her of the fact and she just kept on going so I came in her mouth and she swallowed. We cuddled up, chatted for a while and then I wanted more – I always want more and she was quite surprised. She climbed on top and rode me until we both came and she collapsed on me. I still wanted more, partly because of the hypomania and partly because I always want more so we went for missionary, twice.

By that time I had to leave to get my kit sorted for training.

 

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