So the date/coffee didn’t happen. I was so shocked that I went for curry with C which I had already lined up in preparation. D sent me a message a couple of days later apologising and asking for a “rain check” but I’m sort of feeling that I’m glad that we didn’t meet and if I’m really quite honest I’ve had my fill of noncommunicative women. She didn’t even read the message I sent in reply to that, which I read nothing into because my experience of women is that they’re just shit at reading their messages and even worse at responding. Even close female friends are like this.
I feel a certain ennui surrounding women. “Effort” and “disappointment” are two words I would strongly associate with them. I think that I have some kind of emotional fatigue when it comes to them. Hence things with BM drag on. It’s one thing to flirt with her week in, week out, it’s another to face the grinding effort without much hope of any positive return if I ask her out.
Also for the price of a date I can buy a really good bottle of whisky, like an 18 year Talisker which so far is more enjoyable than any date I’ve been on and has more complexity than any woman I’ve been on a date with. Dakota is the other end of the spectrum: entirely too complex although more responsive than usual.
In other news I started taking vitamin C tablets with zinc, again, and it’s having the same effect on me as it did last time. I don’t need a doctor to tell me that my testosterone levels have gone up; I’ve been feeling more……aggressive and definitely more sexual. I feel more like myself.
At work there is some interesting news. I’m not sure how much I’m actually allowed to talk about publicly except that I will say that cancelling things without the boss’s permission and then attempting to hide this fact from them is a really bad idea. This is an especially bad idea when a large number of people are coming in for a presentation, because no one told them it was cancelled, and the boss thinks that they now have to rush around doing the prep that should take a day in a couple of hours. Also throw in that the boss’s boss was in the office………
Needless to say that the guy that says to the boss, “This isn’t really a problem, I did all the prep anyway, so we’re all good to go” is a guy who is in the boss’s good books and the phrase, “recognition and commendation” is used of this guy. Go me.
I find it curious how much praise I get at work. “Professional” “on the ball” “hardworking” aren’t really terms I would automatically associate with myself but they’re terms which superiors use when talking to me and others about me so I accept them.
So I expect an interesting week ahead.