The last couple of weeks have been really interesting for introspective/self-absorbed little me. I feel this strength and confidence and dominance building. My sexual fantasies have changed, the way I interact with women is changing. Internally I can see big changes in the way I think.
It’s bizarre. I’ll be chatting with V, who I’ve been chatting to for months as I get coffee, and half my brain is looking at her as a person with thoughts and feelings and admiring her personality and just enjoying the interaction but then, simultaneously, half of my brain just sees a piece of meat to impregnate and this is new. It’s not that I haven’t thought about sex with her before, she has nice boobs and is that kind of chubby that somehow is quite sexy, and she’s just generally cute, but the desire to dominate her wasn’t there. It was a sort of, “Sex with her would be really good” rather than “I’m going to fuck her” type feeling.
Thinking about it now I wonder if this isn’t my whole problem: I just haven’t been aggressive enough with women. My newfound aggressiveness has already paid off, in fact. Let’s call her GB and I’m sort of grinning from ear to ear about her: She’s German, lives not far away, appreciates directness and honesty, and is gorgeous: the kind of woman that men stop and stare at. So we’ve met online, she’s verified so I know that she’s a real person, plus I’m a good enough of a linguist to know female language when I see it.
I sent her a message which was both long and ballsy. Literally ballsy by the looks of it and her response was literally, “Wow” and she’s sent a couple of quite warm and enthusiastic messages so I’m feeling quite proud and smug at the moment. Suffice to say that when you move from “it would be nice” to “I’m going to” then things start happening. So I’m asking out V tomorrow and I’m going to fuck her over the weekend.